My first real boyfriend broke my heart. My friends took me out. “You need a rebound,” they said. A guy you won’t stay with but could be fun and will buy you things. I was told I needed time to get over him. Get back to myself. At 25 I didn’t really know what that meant. I was myself. I broke up with him, remember?
Well now I do. I broke up with New York in May 2011. I was over it, bored, looking for something better. I didn’t even look back as I drove out of the city and south for a new adventure. And what and adventure you were, DC. City living in the heart of a small town. Fifteen minutes from the White House and fifteen minutes from everywhere. But then I began comparing you to New York. Nothing was ever as exciting, as inappropriate, as beautiful. I missed New York and I was blaming DC.
This is when I say it’s not you, it’s me. But seriously. This is what you say when the city is wonderful and amazing and exciting. Just not for you. I want subway rush hour, all my best friends, city lights. I tried to make it work with DC, I really did. I made friends, I found a job I thought I’d love, a new sport. 2 years there was a lesson worth learning. Judging those around me and a growing disdain for a profession I was supposed to love had me finding solace in 4 AM wakeups for rowing, the only thing I felt a part of. From a girl who never belonged anywhere, I found my footing in New York. New York is my city. This city rebound was fun but my heart belongs in New York City. And it will never leave.
After a month of playing house –which I absolutely cannot stand (but also making many delicious things)– I’m jumping in again. After a few weeks at my dream job, in my dream city, I am absolutely ecstatic. Everything is fresh and new. The food is better than I remember. The people are nicer. The subway is my favorite. It’s like I’m brand new and everything is brand new to me. Except I’m not and it isn’t. It’s just everything I’ve been searching for. My off-and-on relationship with New York is absolutely on. New York, I’m even more in love with you than I ever thought possible. Thanks for giving me time to figure that out. And still being you when I was ready to come back.
Stay tuned for more awesome adventures in the awesome city. And please bear with me as I get settled. Moving sucks. No matter how many times you do it.